you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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