talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
This is my gift to your gina
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
