I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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