my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
