In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
