I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
