i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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