Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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