New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
