Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
