HIV tests are more positive than that guy
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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