So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
