I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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