did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
