considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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