Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
