i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The Olympian is in my bed
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
