I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
