You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
