this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize