This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I came so hard my ears popped.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
