i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You are the jesus of drinking
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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