In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize