I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
