dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
