after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
