bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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