So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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