u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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