Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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