she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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