Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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