So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
