I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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