if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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