we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
