Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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