She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it was like eating out sand paper
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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