Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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