apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
