You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
