yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
