Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
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i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
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Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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