We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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