If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize