drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
