I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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