I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize