Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
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That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
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I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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