Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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