You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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