you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
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