Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
