so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize