His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
