I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
